The Pootbutt Academy
The Pootbutt Academy
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Pootbutts Academy

Pootbutts AcademyPootbutts AcademyPootbutts Academy

Where Pootbutts Go to Be Transformed from Pootbutt to Good Luck Chuck.

Pootbutts Academy

Pootbutts AcademyPootbutts AcademyPootbutts Academy

Where Pootbutts Go to Be Transformed from Pootbutt to Good Luck Chuck.

About Pootbutts Academy

So Many Pootbutts. So Little Time.

The Pootbutts Academy was created out of a need to address a long standing problem that has existed on Planet Earth and in the United States for a very very long time: people acting like jerks. Jerkism comes in many forms. Some people call it selfishness. Some people call it sinning. Some people call it capitalism. Some people call it Marxism. Some people call it "being an a-hole." And some people just call it Tuesday. There are many terms and concepts that have been used to label this phenomena of bad behavior.


But we are not interested in dirty details, evidentiary science, deep understanding, or name-calling. Why? Because these efforts almost always lead to negativity and divisiveness. So, we have come up with our own name for it: being a Pootbutt (1).


What's important is that most of us want to improve this situation. Specifically, most people want to reduce the amount of people acting like jerks in society. We wish these people (i.e., jerks, pootbutts) the very best. That is why we created this website and this academy. Our efforts are an attempt to find a way to invite certain individuals into our academy so that they can go through a rigorous multi-point "de-poot-ti-fication" program. (They could also find hope ... find God ... find religion ... fall in love ... call their grandmother ... go out to have some of their favorite ice cream ... reconcile with their ex ... or ... well ... something, geesh!) 

What we are trying to say here is that we encourage these people to try to find out what the issue is with their negative-leaning behavior ... and deal with it. Why? Because of a few reasons.


First: "The Truth is the Only Safe Ground to Stand On." (We heard this line from a movie: Beyond the Lights.)


Second: "It Will Always be Better to Confront the Ugly Truth than to Live a Beautiful Lie." We want these people to be "poot-tee-free" and live with glee! (Yes, it rym. But you get  the point, don't you?) We want them to get back on the good foot!


Now ... we have to be honest, here. Pootbutt Academy does not actually exist. (Uh ... primarily because we don't have any funding.) But, if it did, it's goal would be to give Pootbutts new found normalcy, more understanding, more compassion, and most importantly ... a Certificate of Completion of De-Poot-Ti-Fication!


So, wish these people the best ... contact us if you actually have funding for our wishful academy ... and hope that these individuals learn to "detox" their souls, stop negatively impacting other people's lives, stop sitting idly when they know that other people or groups are actively negatively impacting other people's lives, or ... simply ... learn to enjoy the website and let others also enjoy their weekend!


The End. (Enjoy the read.)


(1) Definition of a Pootbutt: Someone who has pooted at least once in their life.

Why Should Pootbutts Seek a Cure?

A Cure is Needed Because Many Pootbutts Have a Lot of Power

Pootbutts need to a cure from the Pootbutt affliction because many of them have a lot of power. It is not good to have a negative-leaning behaivor pattern while exerting power over other people, other groups, other countries, or other institutions. Why does this matter? It matters because this is a systemic problem. One reason why Pootbutts rise to powerful positions is because they are willing to do anything to get there ... even negative things. This is a major trait of a Pootbutt. When negativity is combined with power, and this combinations accumulates in a group, it becomes important to address this issue, so that in the future power can be handled properly.

A Blanket Approach is Not The Cure

 We are not here for the labels. The Pootbutts Academy was created because we realize that the problem is so complex and far-reaching that a "one size fit all" approach is not enough. A "blanket approach" is not the cure. A "high level" approach is also not enough. Passing another law, act, agreement, or creating another institution, or conducting another study ... is not enough. Enough with the blankets. None of these things can solve the problem.

Curing a Pootsbutt Requires a Step-By-Step Approach

Curing a Pootbutt requires a Step-By-Step approach. And that is why we created the Pootbutt Initiative and the Pootbutt Academy. The Pootbutt Initiative is an effort to identify all of the "pootbutts" and then put them on this website.


After they have been identified, the next step is enrolling them in the Pootbutts Academy. For training. The goal is to "un-pootbutt" them.


Its kinda like getting a heavy drinker to stop abusing alcohol. You have to take things one step at a time. One person at a time. One day at a time. (Of course, the first step would be for the Pootbutt Academy to actually exist ... but ... we degress.) And ... since the Pootbutt Academy doesn't actually exist ... we'll just tell use this website to tell the Pootbutts: "Take it step by step ... we're rooting for you."

Curing a Pootbutt Requires that First "Nudge"

 You see, when someone is acting like a pootbutt ... it's .... well ... pretty bad. And they rarely stop on their own. Why? Because they usually have access to a large amount of money and power. So, self-control is almost non-existent. For this reason, they usually need a little "nudge."


The only way back from the brink of being "foreever the pootbutt" is for these people is to help themsleves to new ways of learning by people who are not Pootbutts. (Note: We certify the Non-Pootbutts so if they are not certified by us ... they are not considered a Non-Pootbutt ... no tricks here!)


Others who don't suffer from the same problem with being a Pootbutt can teach Pootbutts new ways to think, build new habits, and walk away from the life of "pootbutting selfishness" once and for all. But, it is not our place to take action against others. (i.e., We are not funded.) So, if you see a Pootbutt ... or think you may have seen a Pootbutt ... maybe ask them to "nudge" themselves, wish them the best, or contact us and let us know you found one.

Even with a Nudge ... A Cure Is Never Easy

 It is never easy for a Pootbutt to stop acting like a Pootbutt. But, we would love to help. And that's why we at least put up this website? So, please help us help them become better people and poot on society less often? We want them to see themselves through to a pattern of normalicy. If you see them ... encourage them. Anti-Pootbuttism Forever!

Pootbutt #1

Breakfast Sandwich Will

Breakfast Sandwich Will is somebody who definitely needs to be enrolled in the Pootbutts Academy.


He is somebody that was working as a manager for National Tire and Battery. When a new employee arrived, he was supposed to be the one who trained the person. But the new employee dressed better, talked better, and listened to customer better than Will. This must have made him jealous.


So Will started abusing the new employee by ordering him to buy him breakfast sandwiches every morning. But instead of breakfast sandwiches, Breakfast Sandwich Will got a restraining order.


Management sided with Will and never did anything about any of the complaints. The result? The company was sold to another company and management was switched out.


However, to this day, Breakfast Sandwich Will was kept at the store. They kept him because he cheats customers for the company to make a few extra bucks.


What a shame.


People who do this definitely earn the right to be the Pootbutts Academy.

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Pootbutt #2

The Manufactured Crisis

In September of 2022 an incident occurred that was nothing more than a random traffic incident; something that occurs all the time. One car rear-ended another car. But what happened after that was nothing short of abnormal.


First of all, information was exchanged. So, there was no attempt to hide identities or do anything else that would impede due process. The result was that the person who owned the car that was bumped sent their car to the repair shop and filed for an insurance claim.


Insurance paid the claim and fixed the car, and the only thing that the car owner was left with paying was their deductible. And this is where it got interesting. They were supposed to reach out and provide insurance information once their car was repaired, so that the repairs could be verified and then payment of the deductible could be reimbursed.


Instead, this person kept refusing to give out their insurance information (phone number, company name, etc.) Instead, they kept insisting that the owner of the car that bumped in to them "meet up" ... face to face. For what? So that there could be a confrontation? The car owner demanded a payment be "sent electronically" to them. Instead, it would have been best to pay the insurance company, after confirmation that the repairs were made.



But the persistence to meet up continued. Then the car owner threatened with the police. They kept trying to force the other party in to a personal confrontation. They never gave out t heir insurance information. So, no effort could be made to pay the deductible.


The result was that the person continued to be vengeful by filing a lawsuit, which, they lost. To this day, they still have not provided insurance infomration.

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Pootbutt #3

Blowin' Smoke

This person approached a business owner and started up a conversation about business at a public place. They expressed interest in learning about the business. The business owner offered to hire them as an assistant and pay them for their time. Instead of accepting the offer and doing the work, this person decided to try to date the business owner and use the proximity to get the business owner hooked on drugs. She actually tried doing drug deals while in the business owner's car, blew crack cocaine smoke literally right in to his face from the passenger seat of his car while he was driving, and then had the nerve to get upset when she was put out of the car. Of course, it wasn't bad enough that she couldn't pay her rent and was trying to force her way in to getting a free place to stay. And it did not dawn on her that if she was already hooked on drugs, then, perhaps the fact that she couldn't pay her rent or hold a job might be a good sign that it is not a good idea to get someone else hooked on drugs. Nevertheless ... you can't reason with some people.

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Pootbutt #4

Screw Over Your Own People ... But Hey ... You've Got Cash!

This person thought it was honorable that he was able to earn extra cash by selling drugs to his own people. Yeah. Sure. Get drugs. Sell them to your own people. Get your own people hooked on drugs. Then, rejoice at all the extra loot that you have, afterwards. Of course some people feel like they don't have a choice, but, this person has a put-together family in a good neighborhood. He didn't need the money, but, still chose to do this anyway. A college educated individual, there is no excuse for this. There was an attempt made to help the person realize that they didn't need to do this kind of thing, but, of course he ignored the efforts to help. Furthermore, he attempted to ensnare another person in his ridiculous life of crime with entrapment techniques designed to put a charge on the victim and then use that as a means of blackmail. Some people never learn that all money isn't good money. And ... even if you think it's good money ... fine ... just don't try to get someone else involved in your nonsense.

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Pootbutt #5

Hardheaded and Ignorantly Persistent

Some people don't want to the take the hint. And when you confront them about something, they play a "confused" role like they don't understand what they are doing. It's one thing to actually be confused about what it is that you are doing, but, when someone order's you to cease contact with them and you still don't ... well ... then you're just asking for trouble. There are plenty of people who do things that end up hurting other people. And in some cases it is not intentional. But ... when someone tells you (1) they don't appreciate your contact and to cease contact, (2) you are sexually harassing them, (3) you have sexually harassed other people, and (4) you keep trying to contact them anyway? That's a threat. No means no. It's just that simple. So, people like this get what's coming to them ... paperwork.

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Pootbutt #6

Cruisin' Right in to Damages

This person rented a car in a legitimate business transaction and then (1) did not fully pay for the rental, (2) did drugs in the car and took the car to drug dealing locations, and (3) did not return the car on time, (4) wrecked the car, and (5) threatened the person who sought payment for the damages. We are beyond speechless at the series of events that unfolded behind this car.

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Pootbutt #7

Holding a Grudge and Lying About Repairs

In this case the car dealership manager assaulted one of his own customers and then had the nerve to get his employees to join in on the fun. This was all because the customer chose not to purchase the dealership's expensive tires and knew where to go to get them for less money, because he used to work at a tire sales store. Furthermore, the customer PAID the dealership for their time even though no work was done. Yet the dealership manager still felt it was necessary to (1) refuse a ride back to the customer's home in the dealership ride service, (2) get upset when the customer came to retrieve their car in their second car and then left the second car in the parking lot to drive the other car home. The manager accused their own customer of not being one of their customers, assaulted him in the parking lot, then broke the law by giving out the customer's confidential home address from the dealership's records to  an outside lawyer who contacted the customer and harassed him. 


The Back Story: 


It's hard enough to get a car repaired with today's expensive repair prices. It's even harder if the manager of the shop literally tries to beat you up. In this case, the person victimized used to work for a car dealership. It wasn't a good experience, and he resigned voluntarily. No lawsuit, no complaint. Just quit. But apparently the car dealership store manager wasn't willing to let it go. So, this fool not only told other people in local dealerships that the former employee was a trouble-maker (which wasn't true). The result was that the victim was subjected to aggressive treatment by other car dealerships in the area. (See the file below for details of one such incident.)


Furthermore, the fun didn't stop there. The dealership manager also also used his position as a manager to have his Human Resource Department place the individual on a Global Anti-Terrorist Watch List. The former employee, who did have any bad feelings about the place he used to work, actually tried to come back to the place and work again, and was told that he couldn't because he was on the Watchlist. Little did he know that it was the dealership itself that had put him on the list. 


And, little did he know that the list was Global. This mean that no matter where he went, all over Planet Earth ... he would not have been allowed to work. It is lucky for the victim that he traced this issue and alerted someone else who was in the security industry, and out of worry of getting caught, the dealership took him off the list. But this wasn't before he was mistaken for a terrorist and tracked, followed, and abused by the Central Intelligence Agency. 


Oh gee what fun! Dam Pootbutt.

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Pootbutt #8

First Peet ... Then Repeat.

In another case of another Pootbutt, a car dealership manager assaulted one of his own customers. However, what was worse was that one of his employees that it was funny to add to the abuse by yelling at their own customer as they walked out the door. The car dealership manager had already assaulted their own customer, so, this employee was just adding salt to the wound. I guess some people just don't have enough do at work? Wow.


This was all because the customer chose not to purchase the dealership's expensive tires and knew where to go to get them for less money, because he used to work at a tire sales store. Furthermore, the customer PAID the dealership for their time even though no work was done. Yet the dealership manager still felt it was necessary to (1) refuse a ride back to the customer's home in the dealership ride service, (2) get upset when the customer came to retrieve their car in their second car and then left the second car in the parking lot to drive the other car home. The manager accused their own customer of not being one of their customers, assaulted him in the parking lot, then broke the law by giving out the customer's confidential home address from the dealership's records to  an outside lawyer who contacted the customer and harassed him. 


Then the manager's employee yelled at him as he left. Fun stuff!


The Back Story: 


It's hard enough to get a car repaired with today's expensive repair prices. It's even harder if the manager of the shop literally tries to beat you up. In this case, the person victimized used to work for a car dealership. It wasn't a good experience, and he resigned voluntarily. No lawsuit, no complaint. Just quit. But apparently the car dealership store manager wasn't willing to let it go. So, this fool not only told other people in local dealerships that the former employee was a trouble-maker (which wasn't true). The result was that the victim was subjected to aggressive treatment by other car dealerships in the area. (See the file below for details of one such incident.)


Furthermore, the fun didn't stop there. The dealership manager also also used his position as a manager to have his Human Resource Department place the individual on a Global Anti-Terrorist Watch List. The former employee, who did have any bad feelings about the place he used to work, actually tried to come back to the place and work again, and was told that he couldn't because he was on the Watchlist. Little did he know that it was the dealership itself that had put him on the list. 


And, little did he know that the list was Global. This mean that no matter where he went, all over Planet Earth ... he would not have been allowed to work. It is lucky for the victim that he traced this issue and alerted someone else who was in the security industry, and out of worry of getting caught, the dealership took him off the list. But this wasn't before he was mistaken for a terrorist and tracked, followed, and abused by the Central Intelligence Agency. 


Oh gee what fun! Dam Pootbutt.

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Pootbutt #7

The Slow Moving Wrecking Ball

Some people take pride in their ability to do something ... real ... real ... slow. In this case, this person seems to be very good (either intentionally or accidentally) in being the "slow moving wrecking ball." People like this are very subtle. If they ever get upset at you ... you would never know.


For example, in the movie Oppenheimer ... a prominent educator gets upset at Oppenheimer for one single comment. (He didn't even hear the comment, which was not even directed at him, but he still retaliated against Oppenheimer as if something harmful had been done; when nothing harmful to the man had actually occurred.)


This kicks off a years-long "crucifixion'" of Oppenheimer ... which turns out to be completely unwarranted. And it was all because the person retaliating felt that Oppenheimer said something insulting about him. to Albert Einstein. This person had no proof whatsoever that something insulting was said nor did he ever confront Oppenheimer about it so that they could have a conversation and communicate. Nope. This just quietly ruined Oppenheimer's life.


The Pootbutt described here acted just like the guy in Oppenheimer. This person (for whatever reason) got upset, caused harm quietly, and spent years watching someone struggle. They created a "slow-moving" disaster for another individual. They ruined a person's life.


In a nutshell, this kind of behavior works like this: 


You create a problem that does not trace back to you with the help of others who share your values. Once the problem materializes, you step in as the person who is helping the person who you victimized with the problem you created. Then, you give financial support.  Then, when they use the money to try to solve the problem you created; you create another problem. Then ... you give financial support. Then. Repeat.


In the end, the person who has been targeted becomes more and more cash-strapped, destitute, ruined, and depndent. So, what's great about this strategy ... in the eyes of slow-wreck-maker? What they find great about it is that they (the slow-wrecker) end up with all of their targets assets and gain a person completely dependent on them.


The entire pattern is simply a money-earning scheme encased in a retaliatory act designed to make somebody feel good punishing another person for what ever reason. No court. No judge. No communication. No discussion. Just a one-sided biased punishment that the person doesn't even admit is happening.


And, because the wrongdoer ends up earning money off of the scheme all the while coming off as a friend to the person being harmed, the result is a positive windfall at the expense of the target. This happens because the person being targeted doesn't know that they were set up. So, they feel compelled to pay their tormentor back ... even though the tormentor actually created the problem.


In the eyes of the sick person doing this ... it adds to the enjoyment of watching someone who upset them suffer. In the eyes of law, however, this is called racketeering and it is illegal. People who do this definitely earn the right to be the Pootbutts Academy.

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Contact Us

Pootbutts Academy


We strive to stay in contact with our business partners because we care about the companies who care about us! Have a question? Send us a message. We are always happy to connect!


Pootbutts Academy is a concept wholly owned by ONUS Pro Holdings, LLC.


While our corporate office is not normally open to the public, we are available to meet at our corporate office when appointments are scheduled in advance.


Onus Pro Holdings Corporate Office - By Appointment Only

Pootbutts Website: www.pootbuttsacademy.com Onus Pro Holdings Landline Phone: (301) 355-9059

Pootbutts Academy

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